Grant's News & Thoughts

One Year Down

2010-03-05T10:49:00.001+02:00

It is hard to believe that exactly a year ago, I heard the words "We have a big problem." My treatment ended a little over six months ago and I now feel much better and the last year seems to be almost a dream. I have picked up weight (almost time to go on diet again!) The beaurocrats seem to think that I should not fly for 2 years as I may suddenly lose my senses and fly into a car or crowd of people. What rubbish! Yes the slim chance does exist that a tumour could appear on my brain, but then, I am being constantly monitored and in any case that is not going to happen. Anyhow enough of that.

Last couple of weeks have been somewhat hectic in this part of the world. A number of massive fires broke out in areas around where we live.Some tense times! Although we had some rain, the drought seems set to continue. Daytime temperatures are often in the high 30's.

Off to Jo'burg again this weekend (Margi is doing a workshop there on Sunday)

Until next time, take care out there!

13 November 2009 (FRIDAY!!)

2009-11-13T17:15:00.002+02:00

But then I am not supertitious. I saw a movie last night, titled "The Living Matrix" One needs to watch this movie with a totally open mind. There is a huge amount of information (mostly alternative/scientific) given. It is probably, therefore, a little difficult to digest all the information at one sitting.

One of the comments made by a German Doctor was "If you have a chronic disease and you think that it is incurable, then it will be incurable. Similarly if you think that the disease is curable, you will be cured"

This statement which was repeated by some other researchers, throughout the movie, but not in the same words, supports what I have always felt for many years now.

My assertions that positive thought can and does cure diseases, will I feel be proved correct. If the findings presented through the medium of this movie are even only half valid, current day medical science will in most cases become almost totally invalid!

A very thought provoking movie and if you get a chance to see it then please do so.

Take care!

12 November 2009

2009-11-10T13:17:00.003+02:00

It is amazing how quickly time goes by. It is now some while since I wrote in this blog, partly through being a little lazy (popular pastime of mine) or not knowing what to say. However, today I have been thinking back to my trip to the Kgalagadi and the evening when I spent almost an hour talking to the partner of a cancer sufferer on the telephone while I was sitting at Twee Rivieren.

The results of my PET/CT scan and the examination by the ENT a month ago were very encouraging. In conclusion the PET scan report read "There has been a significant response to therapy when compared with the previous scan done in March 2009......................No new lesions are identified and no metastatic lesions are seen in the organs. No parenchtmal metastases or lymphadenopathy is seen. No skeletal metastases are noted"

Apparently one of the main concerns was that the tumour that I had coyuld spread easily to the bones and there is no sign that this had happened. There is one node in my neck that has been noted as being not quite "normal" but it is felt that this is as a result of the radiation.

What have I been doing for the last month. Click on - My Kgalagadi Adventure will provide some of the answers. I am still battling a bit to put on weight. So many are trying to lose weight and I never thought that I would ever battle to put on weight!

It is great to be home in Knysna. My strength is improving daily and I find myself able to tackle things which until quite recently would have left me exhausted.

Tuesday 8 September 2009

2009-09-08T15:59:00.003+02:00

No, I did not disappear in a puff of blue smoke, although there are some days when I wish I had that option. Things have been very hectic over the last two weeks or so. Had to pack a whole bunch of things that had to come back to Jo'burg and then drive 1250 kms to Jo'burg. The Land Cruiser is not the fastest thing on four wheels, even when Margi condescends to drive it. Loaded an average speed of only 85kms an hour is achieved. On Tuesday last week the implants in my lower jaw were exposed and after a quick visit to the Prostodontist, impressions were taken and I had hoped to have the teeth fitted before we leave for Knysna tomorrow. No such luck, The technician said that there would not be enough time to complete the required work. Drat, I will have to go another month chewing on my 6 front teeth. Yes, I even ate the fantastic boerewors that Nadine gave me, chewing like a rabbit! The boerewors tasted much better than my earlier fantasies.
Yesterday I was admitted (for the last time!) to the Morningside Clinic where the PEG (feeding tube) and A-Port were removed. I have to admit that the PEG was a life saver but I am very glad to be rid of it.
A lot is planned for the next while. About a week after we arrive back in Knysna, we have a bit of a holiday planned. We will be going to Vermaaklikheid for 2 nights, Arniston for 1 night, De Hoop Nature reserve for 4 nights and then 2 nights on a working farm near Villiersdorp. Margi will then present a workshop on the Saturday.
We will be on our way back to Jo'burg at the end of the first week in October. Margi will be presenting a Teacher Training Course for 2 weeks. After I have had a PET/CT scan and seen the various specialists, I am escaping to the solitude and beauty of Kgagalagadi and the Kalahari. Margi will join me for a couple of days after she has completed the traing course.
I am often asked how I manage to remain so positive and focused. The answer lies in my planned activities for the next 2 months. Live, but truly live the present. A day does not go by without me noticing how blue the sky is and seeing the changes as Spring takes its course after Winter. Tomorrow and the days to come hold absolutely NO fear, but must be planned for. Note that I have not mentioned the past. I cannot change the past but I can positively influence what lies ahead. Every moment is precious.
Until next time, take care out there!

Wednesday 19 August 2009

2009-08-19T18:25:00.003+02:00

I continue to make good progess. About 2 weeks into my radiotherapy, I found that I could not lie absolutely flat in bed without a persistent irritating cough developing. This obviously robbed both Margi and I of any sleep. I found the only way I could sleep was in a reclining chair in the lounge, which Greg has so generously lent to us. On our return to Knysna, the only place I was able to sleep was on the couch (2 seater!) in the family room. For the last 2 nights I have been able to sleep in a bed again. Fantastic! Another step forward.

Some while back I wrote about having observed that many people have little knowledge (I am generalising) about cancer and the treatment thereof. In some some cases, even patients who are undergoing treatment or who have recently being diagnosed with cancer. Yes, one may die of the disease but the huge advances made in treating cancer mean that in many instances the disease can be cured, particularly if detected early. I have found that there is a general consensus that all your hair will fall out if you undergo chemotherapy. This is not so. Some modern day chemotherapy drugs do not cause one's hair to fall out but may have other side effects not experienced with other chemotherapy drugs.

I am now eating almost normally even if I do take a while to consume a plate of food. Another step forward.

Look after yourselves and take care.

Monday 17 August 2009

2009-08-17T12:43:00.002+02:00

A number of days have gone by since I last published to the blog. The reason is that I did not want to tempt fate. How so, I can now say that I have experienced a huge improvement over the last couple of days. Apart from the fact that I do not have much physical strength and that I still have occasional coughing/choking bouts when I take food orally, I feel much, much better and I feel that there is an improvement in allsorts of ways as each dat goes by.

I have had a number of questions about my feeding tube. I know that on occasion I have cursed the tube. It is not uncomfortable but gets in the way and is a general nuisance. In hindsight, I now realise that this simple little device has actually been a lifesaver. Credit must be given to Wikipaedia for the description of what a feeding tube is:-

A gastric feeding tube (or "G-tube," or "button") is a tube inserted through a small incision in the abdomen into the stomach and is used for long-term enteral nutrition. The most common type is the percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy (PEG) tube. It is placed endoscopically: the patient is sedated, and an endoscope is passed through the mouth and esophagus into the stomach. The position of the endoscope can be visualized on the outside of the patient's abdomen because it contains a powerful light source. A needle is inserted through the abdomen, visualized within the stomach by the endoscope, and a suture passed through the needle is grasped by the endoscope and pulled up through the esophagus. The suture is then tied to the end of the PEG tube that will be external, and pulled back down through the esophagus, stomach, and out through the abdominal wall. The insertion takes about 20 minutes. The tube is kept within the stomach either by a balloon on its tip (which can be deflated) or by a retention dome which is wider than the tract of the tube.

Gastric tubes are suitable for long-term use; they last about six months, and can be replaced through an existing passage without an additional endoscopic procedure. The G-tube is useful where there is difficulty with swallowing because of neurologic or anatomic disorders (stroke, esophageal atresia, tracheoesophageal fistula), and to avoid the risk of aspiration pneumonia. It is also used when patients are malnourished and cannot take enough food by mouth to maintain their weight, such as with mitochondrial disease.

I know that what I have written over the last couple of weeks has helped at least one person to cope with and come to terms with this disease and it's treatment and I hope that many more will be helped by what I have written and will continue to write.

take care out there.

Wednesday 12 August 2009

2009-08-12T17:59:00.002+02:00

It is amazing how quickly the time goes by. August is now almost halfway through and I guess it will not be long before we are dusting off the Christmas decorations again.

We went for a drive along the coast, south of Mossel Bay. A couple of years ago we had done the same and the whole area was full of wildflowers at this time of the year. Sadly, the current drought, which is apparently now the worst in 150 years, has taken it's toll and there were no flowers to be seen. Great drive though which saw us reaching Stillbaai, No whales spotted either.

Earlier this week I managed to get some food down orally but it is almost as if someone took a pin and pricked my bubble yesterday. I loast all interest in eating and had to once again resort to using the feeding tube. Throat is also sore at the moment. Anyhow, it would seem that i must be patient and accept that two steps forward may be followed by half a step backwards. Otherwise, I have picked up a bit of weight and most days I feel like a human being again. Still feel weak and cannot work up much enthusiasm to do anything too strenuous.

Winter has arrived again in the Southern Cape and some mountain passes are closed with snowfalls. Just wish we could get some rain. I hope that we do not have a repeat of November 2007 when in most areas the Southern Cape experienced rainfall of more than 400mm in the space of 72 hours.

Take care and look after yourselves.

Thursday 6 August 2009

2009-08-06T18:50:00.003+02:00

For the first time in over 3 weeks, I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. My nights have been plagued by not sleeping, coughing fits and just not being comfortable. It would also seem that my digestive system has begun to work as it should. Still not eating normally (using my mouth)and everything except some fluid is being taken using the feeding tube. Previously I was aware that my stomach was retaining food longer than it should. This I believe is as a result of the chemo-therapy which compromises the ability of the digestive system to process food. My plan of NOT trying to eat normally seems to be paying off with my cough and very severe throaat irritation now almost non-existent. I am going to give eating using my mouth a go on Monday, but I shall not approach this with the same amount of gusto as I did 3 weeks ago.

We hope to go and have a look at the wild flowers along the coast this weekend. I am looking forward to that. Have a great long weekend and take care!

Sunday 2 August 2009

2009-08-02T10:58:00.002+02:00

It is now almost 14 days since my radio-therapy treatments ended. I had been hoping that by this stage things would have been a lot easier. However, this is not the case. It seems that the internal radiation burns in my throat are going to take some time to heal. There is not much pain but if I try and swallow food, a violent coughing and choking fit is triggered, which lasts anywhere between 5 and 15 minutes. Really in a bit of a "catch 22" situation as I do not seem to be able to get enough calories through the feeding tube and I have now lost 14kgs in weight. One heck of a way to lose weight!

Anyhow I guess these are all further lessons in patience although I did consider myself a reasonably patient person if I knew that patience was needed in a particular circumstance.

It is one of those glorious days on the Garden Route, little cloud, no wind and reasonably warm. take care!

Thursday 30 July 2009

2009-07-30T10:51:00.002+02:00

It is wonderful to be back in Knysna. I am not sure of who wanted to get back home quicker. Margi and I shared the driving. The MAX recorded speed on the GPS was 173km/hr and I was not driving at the time!

I really am tired of the roller coaster ride I seem to be on at the moment. One day I feel much better and the next I am way down again. Since arriving back on Monday afternoon I have again not been feeling at all well. I put this down to a bit of fatigue from Monday's travelling. I am sure that a bit of R&R will only see an improvement.

I continue to take strength from that wonderful news given to me by the ENT last week and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel which is not that long anymore.

Sunday 27 July 2009

2009-07-26T16:46:00.002+02:00

After some very challenging days this last week, I woke up yesterday morning feeling a lot better. It was as if during the night a switch had been flicked over. I was able to eat a bowl of oats normally. First food that I had been able to swallow for about three weeks. The morning progressed well and I thought "Hey I cracked this one!", until about midday when the cumulative effects of the radio-therapy grabbed hold and laid me low again. The switch had been flicked back to the "off" position. Feel somewhat better today and in hindsight I guess that I possibly overdid things a bit yesterday morning.

Tomorrow (Monday) we will drive back to Knysna. Cannot wait to get back. It almost does not seem real that we have been in Jo'burg for almost 2 months.

I have watched most of the Tour de France. It is almost incomprehensible that the cyclists are able to ride at race speeds for three weeks with only 2 "off' days. One fact that does come across is the fantastic teamwork amongst the variuos teams. But then I guess that every success is marked by excellent support. I make use of this opportunity to again say that Margi has been an absolute pillar of strength. Her love and support has certainly helped me get where I am today. Alistair has also been a huge source of support and encouragement, especially during the last 2 months. I would also like to thank all our family and friends who have helped us to get to today. The love, help, support and encouragement has almost been overwhelming. Take care!

Thursday 23 July 2009

2009-07-23T20:12:00.002+02:00

Just a quick report. I saw the ENT late this afternoon and after he had examined my throat using a scope he declared that I was clean. No sign of a tumour, ulceration and other bad things. The nodes in my neck were also examined and appear to be clear. Very, very relieved. The next hoop I will have to jump through is in 12 weeks time, when I will have a PET/CT scan. Together with the scan results and the ENT's examination I WILL (that positive attitude stuff again!) be pronounced clean. Once I have remained clean for 2 years, I can consider myself cured.

Not able to have a party though as I now have thrush in my throat and I am nursing a sore throat from hell. Take care!

Wednesday 22 July 2009

2009-07-22T18:57:00.005+02:00

After a very challenging couple of days I am now feeling much better. I had perhaps underestimated the cumulative side effects of the radio-therapy. Anyhow, that is behind me now and the free-wheeling can continue. (I am not particularly keen on saying it is all downhill from here!) Tomorrow afternoon I will see the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist who will survey the war zone and establish a point against which my progress over the next twelve weeks can be measured. Tomorrow I will also finalise arrangements for the removal of my temporary plumbing modifications on 7 September. One of these being the Arterial Port which assisted hugely with administering the various Chemo drips. The feeding tube is the other, which although very necessary, is the bane of my life. Even with the feeding tube I have still lost around 12kgs in weight. Without the feeding tube I would probably lost more than 20kgs.

I strongly believe the ATTITUDE one adopts towards every challenge and event that needs to be dealt with is of paramount importance. NEGATIVE ATTITUDE = NEGATIVE OUTCOME and similarly, POSITIVE ATTITUDE = POSITIVE OUTCOME. An easy recipe for success or failure, not only when fighting a life-threatening disease, but in everything we attempt, be it a job, a relationship, an unpleasant task or anything we need to achieve. A very liberal sprinkling of stubbornness and determination is also an advantage to adopting a POSITIVE ATTITUDE. It is not easy to always adopt that POSITIVE ATTITUDE, but then we need to remember the price that may have to be paid if not adopted. A dear friend of ours, Kim Beckett sent us a book, “Love, Medicine and Miracles” by Bernie Siegel (a surgeon) Although I am only about one third of the way through, it is very apparent that POSITIVE ATTITUDE is a major contributor towards beating a life-threatening disease.

That is enough for now and my rambling along. Take care out there!

Monday 20 July 2009

2009-07-20T16:35:00.002+02:00

My Treatments Are Finished!!! This morning marked the last radio-therapy treatment. Only problem the last treatment seems to have had a real sting in it's tail and almost finished me. Very pleased to have finally got this behind me and after the last treatment this morning I felt fine. By midday I felt absolutely awful and slept for a couple of hours. I am still not feeling great and so I should probably dis-engage my brain and sign off. Take care !!

Thursday 16 July 2009

2009-07-16T11:37:00.004+02:00

One of the lessons I have learnt from this particular episode is that one has to trust and allow others to do the various things that are necessary. I have never really allowed anyone to control my life and destiny. That is probably why I never made a good passenger on an aeroplane. However, when necessary, one has to allow others to take control. Having said that, if one has the slighest doubt about what is happening, our right of free choice should be invoked and it is OK to ask questions or seek another opinion. Being in my current space, I cannot help but note the way in which some persons (in particular cancer patients) are horribly misinformed. Enough of that now.

I only have 2 radio-therapy sessions left. Still very strong mentally but the physical effects continue to take their toll. I now have had to resort to using the feeding tube for all my nutrition. One advantage is that all those "good things" that I should eat but did not like the taste now go down the feeding tube and I do not have to taste them. I still obsess about food, being able to taste and smell my favourite dishes. Last night the taste and smell of a nice curry with roti assaulted my thoughts!

At 3:00am this morning, the thought struck me that over the last 5 months, I have only spent 6 weeks at Spirit of Amberfield, our home in Knysna. Cannot wait to get home, see the mountains again and breathe some clean fresh air. A walk on the beach at Buffalo Bay also would be most welcome.

Again I must thank all of you who have left comments on my blog or sent emails to Margi. It really does help to know that there are so many persons out there rooting for me. Take care.

2009-07-14T18:57:00.007+02:00

Things really rough at the moment. I am having to dig really deep to keep on going forward. Mentally I feel very strong but physically my body is starting to cry out "ENOUGH!!" Thank goodness only 4 more treatments to go.
To add to all of this we had to have our dog, Emma put down this evening. At least she is no longer in any pain after struggling with arthritis for a number of years and at the weekend her hind legs started to give way. A cortisone injection helped a bit but to no avail. Emma was like a child to us and she will be really sorely missed.
I know that there are many who have been following my blog but have difficulty in leaving a comment. Not having a teenager around to ask "How does this work?" I had to work it out for myself. Maybe this will help:-

1.Click on COMMENTS at the end of the published blog

2.Another window will open. Scroll to the end of the comments

3.In the "Leave your comment box" type in your comment

4.Scroll a bit further down and carefully type in the verification word

5.Under "Choose an ID". Unless you have Google account/ID select NAME/URL. Type in your name. The URL or your own website address is optional. If you have a Google account/ID then type in your user name and password

6.Scroll a little further down and click on "PUBLISH COMMENT"

I do feel a little emotional at the moment and my brain is like mush. Cannot think of anything else I want to say. Until next time. Take care out there!!

2009-07-12T09:49:00.003+02:00

As you may have already realised, the last couple of days have again been somewhat tough, hence no updates to my blog.
The cumulative side-effects of the radio-therapy continue to wreak havoc. My voice has now been reduced to a whisper. Only problem is that the wife, children and dog have taken advantage and are doing as they please, taking comfort from the fact that I cannot shout.
Only 6 radio-therapy sessions remain now, after having completed 28. Almoost the same as the last kilometer or two when riding the Cape Argus Cycle Challenge. Had my last chemo session this past week. The oncologist mapped out what lies ahead after the radiation tyreatments are completed. I really want to get my flying medical back as soon as possible. I will see the ENT immediately after the radiation treatments are completed and again 12weeks later. Based on what he sees a report will be generated to the Institute of Aviation Medicine who will then make a decision. At the moment it would appear that the ENT and oncologist's (hopefully favourable)report will allow my flying medical to be granted. After that I will have regular follow-up sessions with the ENT and oncologist and if I remain clean for 2 years, I can consider myself cured.
I would like to thank all of you who have so generously and unselfishly given both support and encouragment, not only to me but to Margi as well. You will never know how much it has meant.
I hope to later turn this blog into an on-line forum which will allow greater interaction and through that medium I hope that others would also be able to receive help in one form or another.
Right now I need to conserve my energy and get as strong as possible for the week that lies ahead.

2009-07-07T21:14:00.001+02:00

The human mind is amazing. It would seem that if there is anything that you want but cannot easily have, the mind decides it will “torture” you. All I seem to fantasise about these days is food! My thoughts reflect on some of the outstanding meals I have enjoyed, either at home, with friends and/or family, or in restaurants around the world. I can almost taste and smell those wonderful, memorable gastronomic creations.
The current powers that be, assure me that my sense of taste will return. At the moment everything tastes like metallic cardboard or blotting paper. Having no saliva either or not being able to swallow, also does not help! Enough of that now.
Friends and family encouraged me to start writing this blog so that they could easily stay up to date on how things were progressing.
I personally would like to think that someone who has just started along the same difficult journey, fighting cancer, subjected to trauma or loss, will in some small way find some support and encouragement from the words that I write.
I can still today remember the feeling of absolute terror that engulfed me when I was diagnosed with a malignant tumour 24 years ago. At the same time I went through the “normal” emotions/feelings of denial, anger, fear, depression and finally acceptance. These emotions/feelings are usually experienced by all of us when faced with a traumatic event or loss. I have been very fortunate this time round. When I first was told that there was “a big problem”, all I felt was shock for a half hour or so. The shock was soon replaced by a feeling of peace and acceptance. Not having to deal with the denial, anger, fear and depression, has definitely helped me to get as far as I have along this path and stand absolutely firm in my resolve to beat this.
I cannot help but notice the way many patients drag themselves into the waiting room at the oncologist or radio-therapist, with resignation and hopelessness written all over their features. My heart goes out to those who are not coping as I understand the way they feel and unless you have personally been there, you have no understanding of how they feel. Hopefully I will be in a position to help one day.

2009-07-06T18:24:00.003+02:00

Another couple of really tough days! Have felt pretty lousy the last couple of days and despite my best intentions I have been unable to keep this blog up to date.
This little epic is possibly the most difficult thing I have ever had to contend with. However, I will not let get me down. It is perhaps all too easy to just say “I give up” and let events run their course.
It came as a blessing this morning when I received a ‘phone call to say that the radio-therapy machine was not working and that I should not come for my treatment. Bit disappointed as it meant that the remaining treatments would not finish when I hoped they would. It was not too long afterward when I realised that I actually needed the break.
24 Treatments completed with ONLY 10 to go!
At the start of my current lesson (almost five months ago) I was sent the following words, which I reproduce here. These words helped me then and are helping me right now.

The Zen Master Hakuin lived in a town in Japan. He was held in high regard and many people came to him for spiritual teaching.
Then it happened that the teenage daughter of his next door neighbour became pregnant. When being questioned by her angry and scolding parents as to the identity of the father, she finally told them that it was Hakuin, the Zen Master.
In great anger the parents rushed over to Hakuin and told him with much shouting
and accusing that their daughter had confessed that he was the father.
All he replied was, “Is that so?”

News of the scandal spread throughout the town and beyond. The Master lost his reputation. This did not trouble him. Nobody came to see him anymore. He remained unmoved.
When the child was born, the parents brought the baby to Hakuin. “You are the father, so you look after him.” The Master took loving care of the child. A year later, the mother remorsefully confessed to her parents that the real father of the child was the young man who worked at the butcher shop.
In great distress they went to see Hakuin to apologize and ask for forgiveness. “We are really sorry. We have come to take the baby back. Our daughter confessed that you are not the father.”
“Is that so?” is all he would say as he handed the baby over to them.
The Master responds to falsehood and truth, bad news and good news, in exactly the same way: “Is that so?” He allows the form of the moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so does not become a participant in human drama. To him there is only this moment, and this moment is as it is.
Events are not personalized. He is nobody's victim. He is so completely at one with
what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore.
Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world
will determine your happiness and unhappiness.
The baby is looked after with loving care. Bad turns into good through the power of non-resistance.
Always responding to what the present moment requires, he lets go of the baby when it is time to do so.
Imagine briefly how the ego would have reacted during the various stages of the unfolding of these events.
(Author unknown)

2009-07-02T18:30:00.003+02:00

After a rough couple of days, I feel much better today. Still trying to ignore the very sore throat and difficulty experienced when swallowing. The radiation burn on the skin of my neck is starting to make its presence felt. Feels like a case of severe sunburn.
Only one chemo session to go next week. I was told on Monday that I was scheduled for 34 Radio-therapy treatments and not 33. Now I have only 11 left with the treatment finishing on Friday 17th of July. The end is in sight!

2009-06-29T18:31:00.003+02:00

I had hoped to update this blog each day. However, the last two days have been somewhat of a challenge. Have felt really lousy and spent most of Saturday and Sunday sleeping during the day (and fortunately during the night as well!)
Did not sleep that well last night and lying awake at 1:00am allows the mind to travel far and wide. In the early hours of this morning all it seemed to be able to imagine and think about was a delicious piece of properly cooked boerewors which had just been removed from a wood fire somewhere in the bush.
Eating is becoming more and more of a chore and this weekend I had to resort to taking most of my nourishment through the PEG (feeding tube) The whole process of using the PEG is really tedious but necessary. Apparently it has been shown that patients who lose too much weight take longer to recover and heal.
Another radio-therapy session this morning. 20 down with 13 to go. The end is almost in sight!
24 years ago I fought and won a battle with cancer. What were my worst memories of that episode? The radio-therapy side effects. What do I consider to be the worst of my current situation? No prize for guessing, the side effects of the radio-therapy treatments! Anyhow, the end result is what really matters and having beat this once before, I WILL beat it again.
Tomorrow will be another fabulaous day!

2009-06-26T17:46:00.003+02:00

Winter has arrived with a bang. Temperature in Jo'burg this morning at 07:30 was 1 degree.
End of another week, hooray! 19 radiation treatments completed and 14 to go.
From yesterday evening things have been a little tough. Got home today after the treatment and have spent most of the day sleeping on and off. I am sure that having the weekend off will allow me to build my strength and resolve. Enough of that now.
Being involved closely in the whole cancer thing, I find it almost scary to see how many people are affected. The number of people, both young and old, who present themselves to receive daily radio-therapy treatment is almost mind blowing. Most look as if they are not ill at all.
When I listen to some of the stories and personal experiences as told by fellow patients, it is also concerning to hear the instances of patient mis-management and the apparent lack of information given to patients.
I believe there is a great need for a proper cancer support organisation. Yes, I know there are many but some of the advice that I have seen given, particularly on the Internet, leaves a lot to be desired.
Ok, enough from a very cold and dark Johannesburg. Enjoy the weekend.

2009-06-24T20:14:00.004+02:00

Radio-therapy at 07:30 this morning followed by a 2 hour chemo-therapy treatment.
Saw the Oncologist before receiving the chemo. She is happy with the way things are progressing and feels that the side effects of the radiation should not get any worse. I can do that!!
The chemo drugs (chemicals) are laced with "pick-me ups" like cortisone and steroids. Feeling quite strong but that is probably after I slept for 2 hours this afternoon.
I am now officially past the half way mark with the current treatment protocols. 4 of 6 chemo sessions completed and 17 of 33 radiation sessions completed.
My thanks to all you who have encouraged and supported me in so many ways.
Margi deserves a medal for perseverance, support, giving love and for all the other ways in which she has helped me.
We are really starting to feel quite homesick at the moment. Cannot wait to get back to the Garden Route!

2009-06-23T06:50:00.004+02:00

Not a great evening yesterday. Throat very sore when I try to swallow. The "drrruuuugggsss" helped eventually and I managed to sleep until about 04:00.
Lay awake after that trying to figure out why I have these up and down experiences. Possible answer is that I had, had a weekend free of any treatment and had spent a good portion of Sunday resting and sleeping, I guess that no treatment and rest, allowed some healing to take place, only for my body to be assaulted again yesterday morning. Probably also the reason why I felt fatigued yesterday afternoon.
Weekly chemo treatments have been changed to Wednesdays. This as a result of the Oncologist closing her practice last week on Monday. Tuesday was a public holiday and allowed her a long weekend. Monday this week would have been too close to Wednesday last week, hence the change.
Today saw the 16th radio-therapy session completed. Almost half way!

2009-06-22T18:13:00.000+02:00

Started the day with a visit to Discovery Health. I now know more than ever that a medical aid is a necessary evil. I intend at some time in the future taking up some of the issues which we are faced with as medical aid members. The lesson to be learnt - Read the fine print!
Had an appointment with the dietician after going to Discovery. Even though eating is a real chore, I am going to have to change my eating habits (what eating habits!!) once again. When the whole picture is painted, concerning nutrition, it becomes painfully obvious that many of us do not eat properly. Small wonder that I was recently found to be osteporitic. This condition has obviously not only come about due to aging but poor nutrition.
Then followed radio-therapy treatment No.15. Only 18 left!! Saw the radio-therapist, Dr Van Zyl who is happy with the way things are progressing.

Sunday 21 June 2009

2009-06-21T18:01:00.000+02:00

Almost no sleep last night. Caught up on my reading during the wee small hours of this morning. Eventually fell into an nuneasy sleep at about 06:00. Margi left quite early to facilitate the workshop she had organised.
Alistair and I went to movies today (morning matinee). A seriously "non chick flick!" Terminator Salvation is very loud with some amazing visual and sound effects. Most importantly it allowed one to escape for a while.
Got home early and spent most of the afternoon sleeping until Margi got home at about 17:00.
Still a bit of discomfort and pain but I am still managing to eat using the normal equipment. Part of the problem surrounding the consumption of food, is that it has just become a real chore. Radio-therapy and Chemo-therapy both have far reaching affects. My sense of taste has completly disappeared and having no saliva also causes a big problem.
I dare not count sleeps until the treatments are finished as the dates are changed about once a week. Nevertheless, 3 more weekly chemo sessions and 19 radio-therapy sessions to go!!!

2009-06-21T17:36:00.000+02:00

Trying to get some of the events of the last week written up. Monday (15 June) saw another radio-therapy session. After hearing my gripes about pain and discomfort, I saw the doctor who prescribed a pain relief syrup and some other medication.
Now faced with the prospect of only being fed through the PEG tube in my stomach (not a thought I had being looking forward to!) I was told that I would have to stop thinking about eating using my mouth.
Dare I say that the pain syrup did not help at all and any swallow action was very painful. Tuesday (16 June) saw me sleeping a lot again. (It would seem that one does not swallow much whilst asleep)
Weekly chemo session on Wednesday (17 June) Saw the Oncologist who took one look at me and promptly announced "the side effects are much worse than what had been anticipated."
A prescription for Morphine syrup and a "Miracle" mouthwash (does not taste good) followed rapidly. Within a few hours the pain and discomfort had abated.
I am able once again to eat using my mouth, even if it does take quite a while to finish even a small plate of food.

And in the beginning.....!

2009-06-21T17:18:00.000+02:00

I never thought that I would ever be writing in my own blog on the Internet. However, friends and family have said that they would like a place they could either read about my progess or leave messages without having to telephone.
At the start of this week, things did start to change rapidly. The side effects of receiving radio-therapy decided that Saturday night (13 June 2009) was the time to make their presense felt.
I woke up on Sunday morning to find that my throat had closed up, causing speech difficulties and a reallyy sore throat as I tried to swallow anything, even the rapidly diminishing flow of saliva in my mouth (another side effect)
Spent a great morning with the family having breakfast at Lifestyle nusrsery. It was great to see my sister Sue and her husband Dave, who I think had just been looking for an excuse to drive to Johannesburg.
Spent most of the rest of the day sleeping and trying to swallow without too much pain.